Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Uncle Ted

One day, at the end of class, little Billy's teacher asked the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with a moral.The following day, the teacher asked for the first volunteer to telltheir story. Little Suzy raised her hand and said, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. One Sunday, we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm, too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."

Again the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied,
Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

Next up was little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war. Hisplane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but he managed to grab a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. He then landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 of them with his machine gun before he ran out of ammo. He then pulled out his machete and killed 20 more before the blade on his machete broke. He then killed the last ten with his bare hands."

The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, sheasked what possible moral there could be to this story.

"Well," Billy replied, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been
drinking."

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